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Armored combat for the golden prize…

Blog Guy, everybody knows you’ve campaigned against bullfighting and other forms of animal cruelty. It’s safe to say that any event involving animal combat is inhumane, right? Pretty much, yeah…...

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Not that duchess, the udder one…

Blog Guy, it’s me. I’m back and I need a fix. You’re the one who got me hooked. Hooked? Oh, you mean…. That’s right, I need fresh pictures of a certain duchess, if you catch my meaning. I do indeed....

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When animals know all our secrets…

Blog Guy, my tax guy’s taxidermist told me something really creepy. He has close ties to the animal kingdom. You mean from stuffing and mounting them? Yeah. And he said animals are spying on humans,...

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More jumbo gumbo, Mr. President?

Blog Guy, have you seen that amazing new book about former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy, the one taken from hours of taped interviews with her just months after her husband was assassinated? I have,...

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Lemme just hack away at this gizmo…

Blog Guy, I’m looking for a new career and I know your advice is the best. I picked up a colorful brochure called, “The Exciting World of Battlefield Rocket Repair,” and I was wondering if you think...

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Playing Pachelbel’s Cannon at my funeral?

Blog Guy, not to bring up a depressing topic, but have you made plans for what will be done with your body when you die? I’m arranging that now, thanks to several readers who sent me info about a...

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Taking Siri out for a spin?

Blog Guy, I gather from your recent posts that you’re a big fan of Siri, the personal assistant on the new iPhone 4S who carries on conversations with users? I am. I’m pretty dazzled, I must say. So,...

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Courting the goat vote…

Blog Guy, with the 2012 presidential campaign now underway, I’m surprised nobody is covering the goat angle. Yeah, many political writers handle that group with kid gloves, but not me, not with all of...

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Are these the missing links?

Blog Guy, I want to order one of those elaborate fantasy photos you set up for your readers. You know, the really strange stuff, like that hotel suite with chocolate furniture, and like Sylvester...

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Sorry, you’re not my type…

Hey Blog Guy, it’s me! Who? Me! The guy who talks to you in italics so you can carry on pretend conversations in your blog everyday. You really EXIST? I always thought those conversations were just...

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